5 STEPS TO STOP FEELING STUCK IN LIFE

Feeling stuck in life is crappy. It's a feeling that lingers, leaving you feeling like everything is hopeless or pointless and there's no way out. It's horrible being stuck in a stuck place. I know because I've been there. But I've also found a way out, and you will, too.

While you might feel fed up in your stuckness now, I've got good news for you. On the other side of being stuck is boundless energy, motivation and a sense of achievement. You know, like when you get stuck in a really bad traffic jam, it's so frustrating, but eventually, you get out the other side, and you're on the open road, and you are going places, you've got a sense of freedom, of movement, achievement, and the world is your oyster.

It's the same in life; you can only be stuck in a rut for so long, and then you're out the other side. It's like all emotions. It comes, hangs around for a bit, and then leaves. I know you want it to leave like a bad smell - quickly!

And I've got you covered. With my five steps to overcome feeling stuck, you'll be unstuck in no time.

FEELING STUCK IS PART OF BEING HUMAN

Feeling stuck in life, whether it be stuck at work, stuck in a relationship, stuck financially, stuck creatively, or just a general sense of being stuck, is something we've all experienced at one point or another. It's just part of what makes us human.

I think it's because, as human beings, we have an inherent drive for personal growth, evolution and optimisation. And if we don't feel like we're moving forward, we feel stuck. Life gives us the opportunity to grow in our personal and professional life. If we don't take it, we start to get bored, stagnate, and feel stuck it's. But that doesn’t mean we’ve got a mental health problem.

FEELING STUCK IS JUST A FEELING

Before we get into the five steps to get unstuck we need to look at our relationship to feeling stuck. Like most emotions that aren't on the positive bias of happy, fun and exciting, we don't like it. But the truth is that all emotions and feelings are essential. They’re not a mental health problem. They give us important information about ourselves or our environment.

And instead of embracing them and listening and being grateful for the whole spectrum of emotions we're able to feel, we try to run away or stuff them down. And worse than that, we add more negative thoughts and emotions to the pot. Typically, we'll add a bit of anxiety and depression, a good dollop of frustration or hopelessness and maybe even some envy or resentment. And then we start to worry that we've got a mental health problem.

But what if we took all that extra topping away? What if we pare it back to just feeling stuck in life? Let go of all the other toppings that you threw in. Now, how does feeling stuck feel? Let's not even call it feeling stuck. Let's not label it at all. Let's just notice how it's arising. In what form? How do you know that you feel stuck in life, now?

I'd guess it might just be a sense that you are aware you're not where you'd like to be. So let's leave it at that and stop judging it and fighting it and adding in all the other crap. We don't need to get all worked up about being stuck. We can just act like we do with other feelings. For example, when we feel hungry, we eat. When we feel tired, we sleep. From now on, when we feel stuck, we move, we take action.

Now, we've gotten rid of all the rest of the junk, we can move forward. We're ready for the five-step process of getting unstuck.

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK IF YOU FEEL STUCK

You can just read this blog from here, but in the end, you'll probably feel just as stuck as you feel right now. So, if you want to get unstuck, use these five steps as getting unstuck journal prompts. So, go grab yourself a piece of paper or your journal and lets get to work.

THE 5-STEP PROCESS TO GETTING UNSTUCK

1) Where are you now?

If you want to stop feeling stuck, something has to change. You need to work out what that is. So, the first step is to audit where you are now. In what area of your life do you feel stuck? Is it more than one area? What are you happy with, and what are you not happy about? Don't just read this or think about it; write down your answers. There's magic to writing that doesn't happen in your head.

You might like to do the Wellness Wheel Assessment to help you work this out, especially if your feelings of being stuck in life are general. Don't get distracted! Come back here after you've completed the wheel of wellness activity.

If you often find yourself saying and thinking, I've tried everything, which is often what we tell ourselves when we're stuck, write down everything you've tried. We often think that a lot, but in reality, we haven't tried much at all. Documenting what you've tried is all part of where you are now.

2) Where do you want to be?

Think back to that traffic jam. Step 1 was all about being in the traffic jam, but where were you headed? Where do you want to be? How would you like your life to look? What would you like to be different? Again, the wellness wheel is a good tool if you need more clarification.

This is your chance to delve in deep and discover what's really important to you, what you value, what you crave, what makes you smile, and what lights your fire.

If you don't know where you're headed or what your ideal location is, don't worry. When we have negative feelings, our brain shuts down a little, and we become less creative. It's just our body's way of coping with a sense of doom from the negative emotions.

Don't get bogged down with Step 2. You can still carry on with the process. But if you haven't done the Wellness Wheel exercise, do it! It should at least show you which areas of your life need more focus so that you can move on to Step 3. You can always come back to Step 2 and hash out exactly where you'd like your life to be and how you'd like it to look later.

So, where do you want to be, and what do you want to happen?

3) Find Novelty and Inspiration

We often feel stuck when we know where we are and where we want to be, but we can't work out a way to get there. Daily routines and habits keep us locked into the same old humdrum of life, and our world gets narrower and narrower. We often feel like we've tried everything. But it's just not true. Step 3 is about broadening your horizons and finding the missing piece of the puzzle.

And for that, we need novelty. That's why novelty is a basic human need. Novelty gives us inspiration, a new perspective, new information, new skills, new thoughts, new beliefs, new values and new neural pathways. It's like fuel in our cars; it propels us forward in new directions.

And it's never been easier than it is today to get access to novelty. Anything outside of your awareness and consciousness is novel. Whether you're stuck in your personal or professional life, you can find novelty and inspiration from blogs, podcasts, vlogs, books, new people, new experiences and new adventures.

But we can also get novelty, support and inspiration from people we know. We might gain new perspectives, ideas and action plans by discussing our current situation, with friends and family members.

So, Step 3 calls for a commitment to widening our circle of influence and finding novelty. Asking questions like

• Who can help me gain a new perspective?

• What new experiences could widen my lens?

• What podcast, vlog or book is really slaying it in this area?

• Who has walked this path before that I could learn from?

• Is there a group that I can learn from or get support from?

• Is there a book, podcast, vlog, blog or course that can help me build the strategy or plan to get out of this?

4) Change Your Identity

When we know where we want to be but feel stuck, the problem is usually one of the following;

• Lack of clarity

• Lack of skills

• Lack of strategy or plan

• Non-supportive environment

• Psychological barriers

  
  
  

Steps 1 and 2 were all about getting clarity. Step 3 is about developing skills, building a strategy or plan and creating a more supportive environment. They are all very powerful and essential steps to getting unstuck. But without Step 4, nothing changes.

Step 4 is about changing your identity, which means breaking the psychological barriers. We get stuck in our identity. We might identify as being not enough, lazy, or not the kind of person who deserves or gets that kind of job or that kind of relationship. We might identify more as a son than an entrepreneur or a follower rather than a leader. These are all psychological barriers. They need to be broken, and a new identity needs to be embraced.

So, up to now, how have your beliefs about yourself sabotaged where you want to go? What thoughts about yourself are holding you back? What do you believe about yourself that is not true? Where is the evidence for the beliefs you hold against yourself?

It's not just about breaking down the psychological barriers and obliterating beliefs that have no evidence. Step 4 is all about taking on a new identity. A new identity that fits with where you want to be.

Our identity is made up of the roles we play. That might be the role of a student, a loser, a party guy or a joker. It could be the role of a helper, supporter or girlfriend but not of a leader, innovator or powerhouse. What role are you playing? And what role do you want to play?

If you want to be in a loving relationship then your new identity will be made up of a loving partner. Asking yourself in each moment, what would a loving partner do? will help you to act like the person you want to be. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, ask yourself, in each moment, what would a successful entrepreneur do?. Keep asking yourself at every moment,

What would a [__fill in the blank with what you want to be__] do now?

If you keep asking yourself this question, you will start to make different decisions. Many different decisions will take you out of the traffic jam and out of your stuck place. Eventually your identity will have taken on a new role capable of pulling you out of being stuck.

5) Take Action

Getting unstuck doesn't happen overnight. It takes consistent effort. Many people have been taught that effort is not needed in life and that you don't have to work hard to get what you want, but it's not true. The most successful people take massive, consistent action, and that's why they're never stuck for very long.

If you feel like you've been making a consistent effort, it is possible that it wasn't a consistent effort in the right direction or at the right time. Sometimes, we're making a consistent effort but in the wrong direction or at the wrong time. Step 3 can shed light on this. If you find this is your problem, it's time to pivot. Again, Step 3 is about learning the best way out. Steps 3, 4 and 5 are ongoing processes.

We can keep trying for extended periods of time and get nowhere. A lot of stuckness comes from this. That's why we feel like we've tried everything. Step 5 is about taking conscious actions, making conscious effort, and measuring your progress.

If we measure our progress and audit our efforts, we can start to see what's working, what's not, and where we're going wrong. Developing self-awareness in the process is vital. Know what you're doing and why you're doing it. Be conscious and aware of every action you take.

Getting unstuck is all about the actions you take, so this is a crucial step to monitor.

It is inevitable that if you are consistently taking some action in the right direction, something has to change. What small steps of action could you take today to help you get unstuck? What little thing could you do right now to get unstuck? Before you finish reading this blog, I urge you to take one small step to eliminate your stuck feelings.

HOW COACHING CAN HELP YOU GET UNSTUCK

Whether you feel stuck with your physical health, current job or after a breakup, feeling stuck in life is pants. And it can be difficult to get unstuck alone. I think this is primarily due to the lack of motivation due to feeling stuck. I hope you've given the steps above a good try, but if you could do with more support to get unstuck, working with a coach could be very beneficial.

Coaching is goal-orientated, solution-focused support. That means that rather than talking about why you feel stuck or what the cause is, we'll talk about how you can get unstuck. A coach can help you get clarity, expose your psychological barriers, help you create a new identity, formulate a plan and stick to it.

WHEN TO SEE A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL

I like to cover the whole spectrum in my blogs because psychology is never an on-off switch. It's more like a sliding scale or a spectrum. At one end, you have fleeting feelings; at the other, you have mental health conditions that would be detrimental to your well-being.

For example, when we think of being stuck, you might feel a bit stuck during an afternoon project, you could feel stuck in a situation for a couple of weeks or months, and you could feel like you're in a rut for several years. None of these situations signals a mental health condition. Feeling stuck is a normal part of life.

But when feeling stuck in life is chronic, overwhelming, and accompanied by lots of negative emotions and thoughts it may be time to see a mental health professional. We can start to sink into our stuckness as if we're stuck in a hole. Feelings of doom, gloom, and no way out can leave us feeling disconnected from our lives and the things that are important to us that give us meaning and purpose. If you resonate with this I highly recommend you seek the help of a mental health professional.

While feeling stuck is a very normal part of life, chronic feelings of being stuck can lead to an existential crisis and getting help from a mental health professional is essential. They can help you work through this process and give you the support you need to get on with your life.

INSIGHT HIGHLIGHT

Feeling stuck in life is all part of the ride. It's just one of those emotions that comes to visit from time to time. While it feels crappy to feel stuck, it's just a feeling alerting you to take action. Like if you feel hungry, you eat. If you feel stuck, you take action.

It’s time to stop hating being stuck. Embrace it. And be grateful for this stuck feeling that is calling you to grow, evolve and experience more of what life has to offer.

Commit to the journey of getting unstuck by following the 5-step process to getting unstuck. Stay focused. Keep moving!

1. Get clarity on where you are and what you've tried.

2. Get clarity on where you want to be and who you want to be.

3. Widen your horizons, find novel ways to move forward, and get support.

4. Choose new roles and change your identity.

5. Take consistent action in the right direction.

Before you leave this page, what is the one action you will take to stop feeling stuck? Fill in the gap...

I will [______action______] at [______time______] to start my journey to getting unstuck.

Thanks for reading, and as always, keep striving for growth and well-being, and never settle for less!

How I Can Help

I hope you found this blog post helpful and inspiring. If you have any questions or need further guidance about getting unstuck, please don't hesitate to reach out. As someone who’s deeply passionate about well-being and personal growth and development, I offer services designed to help you cultivate a life you love. Use the WhatsApp widget to book your one-on-one strategy session. I’m here to support your journey towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Here’s to your growth and success!

Head over to the services section on my website for more information on how we can work together to achieve your goals. I work online and face to face on the Côte d’Azur, in France.