Kirsti Formoso

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Coaching For Anxiety: How Life Coaching Can Help You Manage Anxiety

COACHING FOR ANXIETY: HOW LIFE COACHING CAN HELP YOU MANAGE ANXIETY

Are you struggling with anxious feelings? You are not alone. Most of my clients are younger adults and I notice many of them struggle with anxiety. It can be debilitating. But it doesn't have to be. Anxiety coaching can help relieve your anxious feelings, build self-confidence, and give you the tools and courage to decode the messages your body is trying to relay to you.


ANXIETY

Anxiety is a natural human response to perceived threats, uncertainty, pressure, trauma, significant life changes, or anticipation of future events. It's part of our survival mechanism. Like many psychological and physiological responses, anxiety is a form of communication that alerts our attention to something that may harm us. We could get into a lot of trouble if we weren't able to feel anxious.

Fleeting Anxiety

Anxiety is a signal. A feeling. It comes and goes. It alerts us to re-evaluate and reflect on something within us or our lives. It suggests that maybe something needs to change. Something in our environment is not in service to us and may present danger. In this manner, anxiety is our friend and should be a welcome visitor.

Persistent Anxiety

On the other hand, if we're feeling too much anxiety, it can be debilitating, and that can also get us into a lot of trouble. Persistent feelings of anxiety can stop us from doing new things, facing new challenges, and breaking out of our comfort zone. All essential parts of human growth and evolution.

If your anxious feelings are starting to get the better of you, now's the time to do something about it. While that may seem scary, left unchecked, anxiety feelings can become a mental health problem. Life coaching, and specifically anxiety coaching, can help nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.


ANXIETY SYMPTOMS

We all know what anxiety feels like. We tend to feel it around our stomach region. It is as if our body is saying, "I can't stomach what's about to happen." It gives us a sense of fear, worry, apprehension, and nervousness. It often accompanies physical symptoms such as sweaty palms, increased heart rate, and tension. It puts us on edge.

And it can put us into a fight, flight or freeze state. Too afraid to do anything, we're like a rabbit in the headlights. We don't know which way to turn and generally want to hide from the world.


ANXIETY VERSUS FEELING NERVOUS

It's essential to make a distinction between anxiety and feeling nervous. While the two experiences are very similar, there are differences. Feeling nervous is a response to specific stimuli. It's a mild, transient, and temporary feeling. We may feel nervous turning up for a first date, an interview, or doing a presentation in front of others.

Anxiety is more intense and persistent. It hangs around, lurking in the background with no focus point, making you feel like the world is a dangerous place. In extreme cases, it can attack our ability to function and have a detrimental effect on our well-being, relationships, daily activities, and quality of life.

You can think of nervous feelings and anxiety as on a spectrum where nervous feelings are at one end, anxiety a bit further along, and then at the other extreme, you have anxiety disorders such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, or social anxiety disorder.

When we think of it like this, we can place ourselves on the spectrum to help us get a better idea of whether our feelings of anxiety are normal and healthy or not. Asking questions like

  • How much of the time am I feeling anxious?

  • Are my anxious feelings triggered by the same things or different stimuli?

  • How much do my feelings of anxiety affect my everyday life?

  • What am I not doing or achieving because of my anxious feelings?


ANXIETY OR NERVOUSNESS VERSUS EXCITEMENT

Nervousness and excitement are very closely linked. They are both feelings felt in the body towards a future unknown. But there is one key distinction. Excitement is accompanied by anticipation. There is an eagerness about the feeling. Whereas nervousness or anxiety are more likely to be accompanied by dread.

This is an interesting aspect to explore. Asking yourself what other emotions you are experiencing can give you important information.



FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS

When dealing with any emotion, it’s important to be aware of how our thoughts interact with our emotions. They are intertwined. Thoughts create feelings, and feelings create thoughts. Identifying what thoughts we have around our feelings will also give us important information.

What are your dominating thoughts? Reflecting on this question can be very powerful and expose the roots of our anxiety or nervousness.

DEALING WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

If we are the master of our ship, we decide which thoughts and feelings we entertain. And how long we entertain them for. Think of them as visitors in your personal space. How do you respond to someone you don’t really like? Do you pay them attention or ignore them? Do you overlook them? And consider them unimportant? Or do you hang out with them and make them the center of your life?

Becoming the master of your ship is what I help my clients with. When we are the master of our thoughts and emotions, our house is in order. But when we are slaves to every thought and feeling, they play havoc in our lives. Remember, thoughts are not gospel, and feelings are just signals. You are the master. You choose what you do with your thoughts and signals.

A few weeks ago, I got up in the morning and opened my shutters. As I was opening the shutters, I became aware of some anxious feelings arising. It was the weekend, and I had a lovely weekend ahead of me. I scanned the weekend ahead and noted that there was nothing for me to feel anxious about. This feeling had arisen suddenly, but it was misplaced. I used my cognitive brain to assess the situation and decide if there was a problem. On concluding, with my cognitive brain, there was not; I over-rode the feeling and gave it no more thought. I carried on to enjoy a lovely day in the garden in the sun.

But had I not been the master of my ship, had I not known how thoughts and feelings work, I may have become worried about what I was feeling and why I was feeling it. I may have inadvertently added to the anxious feelings and got myself all knotted up.


EMBRACING YOUR FEELINGS OF ANXIETY OR NERVOUSNESS

It can be good to remember that there's a whole range of life experiences that might trigger anxiety. Feeling nervous and anxious from time to time is normal. And at these times, we might want to lean in and explore what’s arising.

Feeling nervous and anxious is not exclusive. Sometimes, these feelings flip and flop with other emotions like excitement, joy and fun about the same event. Moving house, starting a new job, or getting married are typical events in life that can cause us to feel some anxiety while having more positive emotions. This is unlikely a problem.

On the other hand, if positive feelings of mental well-being do not accompany your anxious feelings, your body might be trying to alert you to change something in yourself or your environment. Listening to your body and acting on your feelings at these times can be useful. If you're being exposed to an unhealthy environment like bullying at work, the anxiety you feel is telling you that something in your environment has to change.

At these times, it can be very beneficial to have someone on your side supporting you.

WHEN SHOULD YOU SEEK HELP?

Thinking about nervousness and anxiety on a spectrum and answering the questions above can help you understand if you need help managing your anxiety. If you feel like your anxiety is getting the better of you and you’re not coping well, it might help to talk to someone about what’s going on.

If your anxiety feelings are annoying but it’s not causing havoc in your life and stopping you from doing a whole bunch of things, a coach or mentor might be all you need to take back control.

If, on the other hand anxiety is consuming you and your life, making you feel other negative emotions and getting out of control you might want to speak to your doctor, a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist.




COACHING ANXIETY

A life coach, somatic coach, transpersonal coach, positive psychology coach or anxiety coach can help you deal with anxious feelings and make necessary changes. Coaching focuses on self-improvement and personal growth. It's goal-orientated, so it could be the perfect support you need for overcoming anxiety.

Coaching sessions can help you overcome anxiety in multiple ways by helping you;

  • Build self-esteem

  • Develop coping strategies

  • Develop stress management techniques

  • Improve mental health

  • Increase self-confidence

  • Remove limiting beliefs

  • Develop personal strengths

  • Focus on self-care

  • Develop emotional intelligence

  • Improve communication skills

  • Understand your thoughts and emotions



THE COACHING RELATIONSHIP

The coaching relationship is a co-creative relationship that respects you as the expert in your life. A life coach is not a therapist or mentor but someone who guides and supports your personal development journey. Holding a safe space for you to explore your inner world and discover your blocks, your coaching program will promote the development of new skills, qualities, and beliefs.

A life coach will work with you to determine your specific needs and goals. While you may work on specific areas to reduce anxious feelings, many of the benefits of coaching develop naturally through the coaching relationship.


LIFE COACHING RESEARCH

More and more people are turning to life coaching to help improve their life circumstances, mental health, and well-being. Large-scale studies of coaching clients are being carried out, and the findings are astounding.

The evidence suggests that life coaching can improve various areas of our lives. In one study, 80% of coaching clients reported improved self-esteem or self-confidence, 73% reported improvements in their interpersonal relationships, and 72% said that their ability to communicate had improved.

These findings help us to see how life coaching and the coaching relationship can have a positive impact on people, especially in the area of managing anxiety and mild mental health issues.


MENTAL HEALTH - LIMITATIONS OF ANXIETY COACHING

Coaching sessions are future-focused and help people with personal development and personal growth. While coaching skills can improve mental health, coaching is not designed to deal with emotional distress, mental health conditions, or serious mental health problems. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, a coaching session may not be enough for you. Seeking out a mental health professional may provide a more thorough support system for your mental health issues.


FINDING AN ANXIETY COACH

Anxiety coaches can be hard to find, so if you can't find an anxiety coach, different types of coaches can help.

  • TRANSPERSONAL COACHING

    Transpersonal psychology is a holistic psychology because it includes spiritual psychology. Working with the subconscious, conscious, and superconscious levels, a transpersonal coach will help their clients lean into their anxious feelings so much that they no longer get anxious about anxious feelings. They’ll help you to use your anxious feelings for personal exploration, personal development and growth.

  • SOMATIC COACHING

    A somatic coach works specifically with sensations that arise in the body. They’re perfectly positioned to help you understand your anxious feelings, help you develop tools to manage them, reduce anxiety and improve mental well-being.

  • PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT COACHING

    A personal development coach supports people in personal and spiritual development and tends to be an expert in self-help tools and techniques.

  • POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHING

    Positive psychology is solution-focused. A coach with a positive psychology background will help their clients build resilience, confidence and purpose using positive psychology tools. These qualities and skills should help to reduce feelings of anxiety.

  • LIFE COACHING

    Life coaching comes in many different shapes and sizes. Speaking with a certified life coach about their life coaching services before booking sessions is essential to make sure they can support you with your specific needs.


INSIGHT HIGHLIGHT

Understanding where your feelings fall on the spectrum of nervous feelings to chronic anxiety is an essential first step. If anxious feelings are affecting your mental health, well-being, and daily life, getting help in the form of life coaching or anxiety coaching could help you reduce feelings of anxiety and develop skills for improved mental health. While embarking on a coaching journey can seem daunting, taking that first step could be the beginning of a new you and a new life. And the beginning of overcoming your feelings of anxiety.

Thanks for reading, and as always, keep striving for growth and well-being, and never settle for less!



How I Can Help

I hope you found this blog post helpful and inspiring. If you have any questions or need further guidance, please don't hesitate to reach out. As someone who’s deeply passionate about well-being and personal growth and development, I offer services designed to help you cultivate a life you love. Whether through one-on-one sessions, workshops, or online resources, I’m here to support your journey towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Here’s to your well-being, personal growth and success!

Head over to the services section on my website for more information on how we can work together to achieve your goals. I work online and face to face on the Côte d’Azur, in France.