BUILDING REAL CONNECTIONS: A PATH TO DEEPER RELATIONSHIPS AND LASTING HAPPINESS

When life feels shallow, empty, or lonely, it's usually because we lack meaningful relationships. We crave meaningful connection—all of us. But in a world of internet connectivity, we've become accustomed to surface-level chit-chat. The problem is that those more surface relationships and connections don't nourish our souls.

Be the person to provide genuine connection, see how it creates deeper connections in your life and watch your well-being levels skyrocket. Follow my tips below to get started.

NEED TO KNOW HIGHLIGHTS

• Today's world of internet connectivity encourages surface-level connections that can leave us feeling empty and lonely.

• Cultivating a deep connection with someone takes more effort and energy than a few smiley faces.

• Genuine connections are essential for well-being.

• The four pillars of authentic connection are listening, curiosity, vulnerability, and follow-up.

• The four pillars are skills. If you want more meaningful relationships, you need to develop these communication skills.

INTERNET CONNECTIVITY HAS REPLACED MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS

I'm not saying you can't cultivate meaningful connections online. You definitely can. Some online spaces foster and support profound and committed relationships. But overall, the percentage of shallow connections far outweighs deep, meaningful and genuine connections.

Internet connectivity often prioritises image over substance and focuses on being part of a tribe rather than making genuine connections. This tribal algorithm tends to polarise us rather than connect us.

Social media is all about showing off what you've got and telling the world your life is awesome (even if it's all fake). This influence on us subconsciously encourages us to prioritise the pursuit of money, influence, and recognition, which comes at the expense of authentic relationships, interactions and connections.

GENUINE CONNECTION IS A SURVIVAL NECESSITY

Genuine connections are essential for our survival. We're animals, and we're social creatures. The need for genuine connections runs deep within our brains. Without them, we can't survive. Modern societies have moved away from collectivist values and promoted the importance of individuality, but that comes at the expense of connection.

GENUINE CONNECTIONS PROMOTE WELL-BEING

We're social creatures and need to feel like we're seen and known. If we don't, it can lead to mental health issues. Genuine connections give us a deep sense of who we are. They reflect our deeper values and beliefs about what it means to be me or you. Without that reflection, it feels like we don't exist. And that is agony for our egoic selves.

Authentic connections create a sense of self at the same time as creating a sense of belonging—two essential components of well-being. And the side effects are joy, happiness, creativity, balance, meaning, and purpose.

MY FOUR PILLARS FOR BUILDING MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS

My four pillars; listening, curiosity, vulnerability and a willingness to follow-up, are skills for developing real connections. Invest time to develop these skills and create a strong connection to people, one conversation at a time. Soon enough, you'll be reaping the well-being rewards that flourish from real connections.

Really Listening Creates Genuine Connection

Most people like to talk, and even better if they get to talk about themselves. I think it's because we're genuinely starved of people actually being interested in what we want to say. You see, most people don't listen; they think about how they will respond, what they can add to the conversation, or, more accurately, how they can shift the other person’s attention back to themselves.

But when you really listen to someone sharing, something extraordinary happens. They feel seen, heard and validated. And that makes them feel valued. And if someone feels valued in your presence, they will not only remember you, but they'll want to spend more time with you so they can be seen more, valued more and validated more.

Active listening is crucial, as it allows us to truly understand and connect with others by showing genuine interest in their stories, ideas, emotions and perspectives. It’s essential for building meaningful relationships and fostering more profound connections. Listen attentively and uncover mutual interests or values.

Curiosity Creates Meaningful Conversations

Being curious about people's lives and asking questions fosters genuine connections with others. If you get people talking about their lives and things they love, they'll love you. But more importantly you'll share a meaningful conversation.

I'll never forget having a drink towards the end of a yacht conference I had attended with my husband. Making polite conversation with the guy standing next to me, I enquired about how the show had gone for him. He rolled his eyes. He didn't care about the show. He was there for work, and he was over it.

I quickly flipped from the polite nonsense stuff, "What did you love most about this summer?" I asked. Immediately, his eyes lit up, his posture changed, and he turned square on to share with me what was meaningful to him: a holiday he'd taken with his children.

And just like that, he went from begrudgingly making polite conversation with me to fully engaging in a meaningful conversation. What's more, we both walked away feeling more fulfilled and joyful because our conversation meant something.

Being curious is all about asking meaningful questions. What do you do for work? For most people, it is boring, try asking questions like;

1. What do you love more than anything else in the world?

2. If you were famous, what would you like to be famous for?

3. Who would you invite if you could have anyone in the world for dinner?

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

5. What are you most proud of in your life?

6. What's your favourite thing to do in your time off?

When we ask more interesting questions, we have more engaging interactions and find common interests, ideas, challenges and shared ground.

Being Vulnerable Creates Authentic Connections

Being vulnerable can help build and establish a genuine connection with someone. But there is a fine line! Some people over-share, and that's not good. If you're balancing vulnerability with curiosity, you can develop beautiful, heart-warming, deeper connections with people.

As we get ready for work in the morning, having a shower, getting dressed, having breakfast, and doing our make-up, we subconsciously also put on our masks. Our masks to face the world. Our authentic self is hidden below. We've been conditioned to act and present in a certain way. In psychology, we call this socialisation. But we disconnect from our true selves when we do this, which is not good for our mental health.

Being vulnerable means taking off the mask. It requires courage to open up and share our true selves. But it opens the door for the other person to take off their mask and share a little vulnerability themselves. The result? True connection. Based on reality and shared experiences. Not on what we think society wants to see.

Being authentically you rather than the you you think society wants to see cultivates authentic connections, communication and interaction with others.

Follow-Up Develops A Deeper Connection

Once you open the door to deeper, more meaningful conversations, follow up by exchanging contact details and make an effort to drop them a message to express how much you enjoyed meeting them. By doing this, you'll be sewing the seeds of genuine connection, and soon enough, your life will be full of people you can be your true self with.

INSIGHT HIGHLIGHTS

Building genuine connections is essential for our well-being and happiness. They give us a deeper sense of who we are and what we're all about. They also provide a sense of belonging and fulfillment. So, prioritizing genuine connections can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

If you want more genuine connections in your personal life, try listening more, asking more interesting questions, and being more vulnerable to develop more meaningful conversations. And remember, reach out and continue the conversation to build more authentic relationships in your life.

Thanks for reading, and as always, keep striving for growth and well-being, and never settle for less!

How I Can Help

If you’re struggling to find meaningful relationships and would like help, please take action today and reach out. I help people like you develop the sorts of skills I talked about in this blog so that you can live a more meaningful life. I’m here to support your journey towards becoming the best version of yourself. So let’s get started.

Here’s to your well-being, personal growth and success!

Head over to the services section on my website for more information on how we can work together to achieve your goals and cultivate more meaning in your life. I work online and face to face on the Côte d’Azur, in France.